The Downward Spiral
by poiuni
Summary: Precious little sanity remains for him. Thought becomes harder and harder on the downward spiral. -Read slowly, as things tend to get very, very messy.-


Note: Please, read this as **slowly** as possible. Reading too fast makes you miss things.

Important things.

* * *

Log Entry 1_

Location: Nemesis_

Mission was unsuccessful. My electro disrupters malfunctioned and I was taken hostage. I've been taken to the lower cells, I assume. The seawater and low tide smell make this one of the most unpleasant situations I've ever been in. Though my espionage training should make escape quick and easy. My legs were injured during my attempted escape my enemy fire. It's nothing that my internal repairs can't handle. I only hope that when my interrogators _do _arrive the patches will not be touched. The fuel line only _just_ stopped leaking and the self-patch will only stop light abuse_

Ah, they've come for me. I will reopen this log when they leave.

Log Entry 2_

Location: Nemesis_

This is… unfortunate. It's been 60 breems since they left and I've only come out of stasis lock just now... Since it seems as though I'll be here for longer than expected, I may as well find a way to pass the time. They, on the other hand, have already found a new pastime. They'd like to see how long it will take before I scream. Being an Elite mech, I shall do no such thing, but alas; it doesn't stop them from trying. As I sit- or rather, _hang_ here in the bonds keeping me from retaliating, I can't help but ponder what they plan to do to me next. The vain part of me is already disgusted by the condition of my formerly pristine paint and the logical part of me says that the poor condition of my chest and legs are my foremost concern. The pain is unimaginable but I've managed to keep my dignity. Training to go through abuse like the kind I've just taken is standard. Perhaps they know this? Jazz was never too happy when I requested to go through tests like that. He said it was torture and that he'd be doing more harm than good. I believe that is why he'd always allow Sunstreaker and his brother or one of the Dinobots to perform the actual torture training_

It seems as though they've returned from the upper levels so I must close this entry. Till next time_

Log Entry 3_

Location: Nemesis_

I'm barely cycling. They brought a whip and… stripped my back bare. They went so slowly… I could feel the cold, damp air flow across my protoform as he slid a digit down my bare spinal column. I didn't scream. I could feel the air begin to electrify around me. They only managed to get a whimper out of me when they brought one of the cat-of-nine tails online and began to crack it across my back. They worked their way up to all nine. Their leader stared at me with a sickening smile the whole time. My legs gave out by the third strike and I can't remember past the tenth. When I awoke half a breem ago, my back felt like it was on fire and… itchy… as it does right now. There's a sticky pool of my own energon below me; I can almost feel it running down my legs. What did they do to my back? I think they just welded my torn back struts to my shoulder plating. That would explain it… I'm rusting. Corroding. Oh, dear Primus, I hope those severed lines aren't absorbing the infection… it would cause me to malfunction. All the more reason to keep these logs; I can at least keep _some _semblance of sanity.

Goodbye_

Log Entry 4_

Location: Nemesis_

I think it's day. I'll start another entry. Earlier today they sent Soundwave in to probe my mind. Unbeknownst to them, my firewalls and safeguards are the results of collaboration between both Prowl and Red Alert. He placed a hand on my helm and I could just… _feel_ him trying to invade my mind. For nearly a cycle we danced around each other in my processor. At one point he actually _removed_ the outer casing of my processor, leaving my mind free to prying eyes. He tried again full force, his body nearly going limp as his own mind began its assault, but I managed to thwart him at every turn. He nearly crushed my left optic under his thumb, but pulled back at the last second. I don't know why. I thought I heard Megatron Say something to him… or me, but I paid no attention. After yet another brutal interrogation by their Leader, I was sent into forced stasis. The Autobots have done a fantastic job of preparing me for this… Ratchet was never happy. He'd yell and hiss and curse and spit at everyone involved, but he knew it was vital to the cause. Whatever "the cause" is anymore. Optimus would never visit me when I went through the training, but he'd always see me in the medbay. He'd shower me with words of praise in that fatherly way of his and make sure that his good little soldier was safe, then be on his way. I'll always be grateful, but I only wish they'd move their negations along a bit faster. _If, _ that is, they really are negotiating. I can hear footsteps again_

Log Entry 5_

Location: Nemesis_

They've stripped me down to nothing. It's an agony I've never experienced… I've never once been allowed by Ratchet to have this sort of torture… they're taking a serrated knife and sawing through every pain receptor they can find to get my armor off. My spark casing, my interfacing units, and processor and every vital system is exposed. The cold air and all-consuming agony are waging a war on my systems. I think I'm cold, but it's hard to think with their hands moving over my bare protoform, sharpened, filthy nails digging into my lines.. Oh, Primus… I'm going to be sick- ahhnnsfdh_ nnnnnnAAAAGH_

NotmysparkohprimUSPLEASENO NO!

Log Entry 6_

Location: Nemesis

I think I heard them laugh. Did I scream? They replaced my armor, but in the same fashion as my backplates were set in. I feel itchy all over. I must be running hot because the air is colder than usual. Any colder and my fuel lines will constrict… So that's their game. It will be a slow, torturous agony if those patchy lines constrict. I must prepare myself, retreat to stasis for their return.

Current Temperature: 50° F_

Well, it seems like it's time for me to take my leave_

Log Entry 7_

Location: Nemesis

They've come prepared this time. With my horrendously corroded body stripped yet again, they heat a brand. I'm taking a deep breathes, I've been through this before. It's in the shape of a Decepticon insignia. Cliché. They're walking around m- Primusssss… OH **PRIMUS**_ AH I can feel itttt _twisting_ i**nside PLEASE **_**MaKE IT **__**STOP**_

They're laughing again. I must have done something. Did I yell? I don't think I said anything. The Constructicon- Vortex- he's dragging the slowly cooling brand over my rapidly heating protoform… an oddly soothing gestur00111111

He's hit me again wonder when he'll go away so I can sleep I'd love to sleep if you dont mind Vortex my boy there you go give up sneer and leave so I can get some much needed rest and regharge oh look at that Im leaking again it kind of itches now but theres nothing I can do after tha_

SYSTEM REBOOT_

ENERGON LEVEL: 23%

POWER LEVEL: 31%

EXTENSIVE CORROSION DETECTED

EXTERNAL DAMAGE DETECTED

HYDRAULICS TO LOWER EXTREMITIES SEVERED

CONTAMINATES DETECTED AT 56%

COMMUNICATIONS UNAVALIBLE

WEAPONS UNAVALIBLE

TRANSFORMATION UNAVALIBLE

STASIS OVERRIDE INITIATIED

ELAPSED TIME: 16.45 CYCLES

Log Entry 8_

They must have sent their medic to tend to me. He's a terrible, sick mech. I think they drugged me, because my vision is blurred. My left optic is cracked. Itches and stings. When are they going to rescue me? It's been close to an earth week now and I haven't heard anything. But of course they wouldn't tell me anything. I believe they told me something about no one coming for me. Hound will… he will. He said it himself… he's coming for me. Maybe if I can just hold my head up higher a little longer I could reach the surface. Reach the outside_

I think the corrosion is being absorbed. I need to hold off the corruption for as long as possible_

Log Entry 9_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

_ Why do you hold on?_

_ Because it's what's right._

_ What's "right?"_

_ Fuck if I know._

_ Language, mister! That's unbecoming of a young Noble._

_ I don't care. So long as I get_ **OUT OF HERE_**

Log Entry 10_

I think Soundwave finally cracked me. I feel broken. Or is it the corrosion? My head HURTS and it's ALL HIS FAULT.

They're back with the whip. They're surveying me. They've turned it _on._

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

Hello again. Ggo away. **Never.** You hurt mmeee. You fucking deserved it, you're worthless. Now SCREAM_

FILE RECOVERED: 4:27 AM

I think I'm losing it. My memory is slowly being corrupted. I can't access _anything_. Is this how l'm going to die? I don't want to die. Dark things are out there. What's my name again?_

Log Entry 11_

I Mirage asked Mirage them Mirage what Mirage my Mirage name Mirage is Mirage and Mirage they Mirage told Mirage me Mirage to Mirage say Mirage it Mirage over Mirage and Mirage over Mirage and Mirage over Mirage and Mirage over Mirage and Mirage over Mirage and Mirage over Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

STASIS LOCK INITIATED

Log Entry _

Maybe this wasnt such a good iiiidddeeeeeeaaaa. Mirage knew this would come in

Handy that Mirage found where the corruption was coming from so Mirage could eliminate it. Mirage told them that he wasn't feeling so very good so they had their SHITTY medics take a look at hism. They told Miragemiragemirage that they could fix it, ro did they tell him he was insane now? He's scared he's WEAK. THEY TOLD Him so. They said Mirage was worthless. Now his valve hurts I DIDN'T MEAN **ANY **OF THAT.

Who wrote that I'm worthless? I'm a Noble. A classy Towers mech. Classy as _SHIT__

Log Entry 13_

Lucky entry. Or is thatthat ? Wait… why was that in binary? Have I… I've been… what have I done? My arms… WHY ARE MY ARMS BLEEDING? **HELP ME!**

Entrée Rondin 14_

Aujourd'hui est allé bien. Ils ne m'ont pas torturé. ils ont dit que j'étais insensé. C'est sans doute vrai. Où est Hound? Pourquoi mes bras ont-ils des démangeaisons?

It's a **damn **shame.

HOW DO YOU KNOW FRENCH?

Who are you?

Log Entry 15_

They won't come for me. They said it's been an earth month. Oh, but how I mi

Miss me? I would.

Mirage?

Speaking.

VErry well. Allow me to introduce myself, you worthless little puppet.

Okay.

Call me

Eee-gah-rim .

Log Entry 14 15_

Whoops! Looks like they've hit me a bit too hard.

I'm wondering why they care.

Negotiations DIDN'T' GO AS PLANNED YOU FUCKING SCRAPLETS? probably didn't go as planned. Are they coming for me, Eagrim?

I have no idea, you idiot_

Log Entry 16_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

Log Entry 17_

Well, we've nearly forgotten about this, haven't we, you little drone?

I suppose… I feel dizzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy

**Shit. **

Wasssssat?

The **others** are trying to get in.

Log Entry 19_

What did tehy do? I think I'm on the floor again. It's sticky.

Yes it is.

It smells like lubricant and energon.

Just like you, you WORTHLESS PILE OF_

Log Entry 20_

What are they doing?

Oh Primus they're all over me

All over

All over

All over meeee

AAAH PRIMUS GET THEM OUT OF MY OPTICS

..

.

…

Log Entry 24_

What do I do if I die here?

You laugh.

Egarim? I'm scared.

I won't let them hurt you anymore.

Esimorp?

Syawla.

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

I hate you.

Log Entry 25_

Where is my Hound? Oooh, I would do anything to RIP HIM TO SHREDS THE FUCKER LEFTME FORRR DEAD ANDHEdidnt' even buy mea drink. be held safe in his arms.

Oh Primus, did you say that?

You're losing it.

Where are you? My love? I can't see you! GIVE HIM BACK TO ME- ….

He _**hit **_me.

Log Entry 27_

Location: Nemesis_

I should change that to something happier. Like a flower. Hound likes flowers. He likes a lot of things. He likes me, too. And I like him back.

Log Entry 27_

They told me to shut up. My hips hurt

why is our spark **green**

Log Entry 28_

Well this is… unfortunate.

**They **said it's been a four months since CAPTURED

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Mirage_

Egarim_

Egarim_

Egarim_

Egarim_

Egarim_

Stop that.

Log Entry 31_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

Log Entry 32_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

Log Entry 33_

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

_43 yrtnE goL

NOITPURROC ELIF :RORRE

Log Entry 36_

HA! Theytold me to join their _glorious _causeand DESTROY the Autobots.

We laughed, didn't we My pet?

We did indeed master YOU CHEATER. **LIAR**

_Do not disobey me again._

Yes

Log Entry 37_

**Fear:**

–noun

1.

a distressing emotion aroused by _impending danger, __**evil,**__**pain**_, etc., whether the threat is real or **imagined**; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

2.

a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling: an abnormal fear of heights.

3.

concern or anxiety; solicitude: a fear for **someone's safety. **

4.

reverential awe, esp. toward **God.**

5.

that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid: Cancer is a common fear.

–verb (used with object)

6.

to regard with fear; _be afraid of_.

7.

to have reverential awe of.

8.

Archaic. to experience fear in (oneself).

–verb (used without object)

9.

to have fear; be afraid.

_IS THAT WHAT THAT WHAT THAT ISSSSS_

Too bad, my pet.

Log Entry 39_

They aren't coming.

Oh contraire, my puppet.

You're my only

Wait

Where's Hound?

I killed him.

Oh_

Log Entry 41_

"Mom? What are you doing?" the little noble asked, fear splayed across his tiny faceplates. Him mother turned to him and smiled sweetly, energon smeared and running down her sharp, devastatingly beautiful face. She held the head of her bonded in her hands and opened her mouth. Wires and chords and mesh fell out and she quickly turned away from her frightened son to take another bite out of his father's processor.

He began to sssccccccRRRREEEEEAAAAAAAA**AAAAAAAA****AAAAHGGGGGGG!1!**

**A lovely story. One of Mirage's favorites. **

**He likes nonfictions.**

Log Entry 42_

The answer to the universe right there in yourhands

LOOKATT ME I GOT TO HIS LOGS AND GETTOMESS WITH SHTIOHIOTT10100 1 0

What the hell Egarim?

Log Entry 43_

We can escape. We don't need to be here

Anymore than this.

**GET OUT GET OUT GET ****OUT!1!11**

How dare you hit me, mygood ssir,.

;;;

.

;.

;

_Cry_

_Don't cry for me._

Log Entry 45_

Therego and ffeel whats inside

Log Entry 46_

AND BOY DO WE FEEL LIKE GODS

WE'LL FLY AWAY

LIKE THO

SE PRETTY PREETTY LITTLE SEEKERS

THEY LIKE TO SEE ME SCREAM

AHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAAH

..

.

..

.

.

.

….

Theyjust look at me.

Oops.

Did I do that?

WHATDIDIDOTO

DESERVETHIS?

_ You were sparked._

_I'm insane, aren't I?_

_ Welcome to a dead place._

_Oh._

_He's still dead?_

_ Yes. _

_ I made sure._

_Sure?_

_Yes._

Log Entry 47_

I wanna go home

IT'S DEAD. YOU DESTROYED IT, REMEMBER YOU BASTARD? YOU FUCKING PIECE OF WASTE? WE HAD IT MADE AND YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND DESTOROUY IT DOAOIADIN AG YOU?

We can't go back home, love.

Log Entry 48_

PLAYBACK INITIATED_

"Hey babe –kiss-"

"Aww, 'Rage you're makin' me blush."

"I love it when you blush. I should make you blush more often."

"You shouldn't because I don't want to get laughed at."

"Aww, now who's going to laugh at you with such a devilishly handsome body guard taking care of you?"

"Everyone, obviously."

"We'll see about that."

ERROR: FILE CORRUPTION

Log Entry 50_

* * *

I should probably explain.

You see, I once read a few lovely pieces of… work… that sparked a horrible idea in my head. One that would send our would-be hero to that kalidescope of binary that is mechanized insanity.

Unfortunately, doesn't know how to cross things out. For the original, more screwed-up version, go ahead and read the one on my deviantart.

For my next act, I shall show our dear audience a glimpse of that rare, mythical creature we in the business call a "Plot-a-saurus."


End file.
